Jeff Wilder's Soapbox

The Glass Teat

http://www.avclub.com/articles/crosstalk-is-it-time-for-the-simpsons-to-call-it-a,2005/

I have my own thoughts on the question posed in that A/V club article and I shall get to them shortly. But for now, let me offer a few thoughts on the medium of television itself.

Someone I know once observed that it's kind of elitist to say that one doesn't watch TV. One could argue that the act of actually turning on a TV, even if it's just long enough to put a movie in the DVD player is watching TV. So I will say that yes, I do watch TV. But usually it's long enough until I hit the play button on my DVD player.

That being said, there have been (and to an extent in some regards still are) TV shows that I like(d) enough to watch on a regular basis. However, those shows are few and far between.

The most recent example is HBO's "The Wire". A lot of TV critics have called that the "best dramatic TV show ever" and while that may be typical critic hyperbole, it isn't that far from the truth in actuality. On the surface, "The Wire" was a cop show. But look a little bit beneath the surface and you'll see it was a superb human drama about life in big city America and the way we live and think right now. Does this mean it will come off as dated about 10 years from now? I don't know yet. But for now, it's in the upper echelon of TV dramas.

The other big (now defunct) HBO show for me was of course "The Sopranos". That was one show that started superb and managed to remain at least good until the end, even if it would've been better if it had ended one season earlier. The wacky ending did have me scratching my head. But now I see it as the only logical conclusion for the show to come to.

That's it as far as truly good dramatic shows go. I started watching "24" when it began its run. But the inane scheduling caused me to lose track and coming back in leaves me confused now. So after a while I gave up on the likes of Jack Bauer.

At times I will turn on Comedy Central, usually to watch South Park, but also to catch a stand-up special or The Daily Show. Jon Stewart's program is hilarious. However to me, it's also kinda falling victim to cultural saturation. It's gone from being the hipster answer to SNL's weekend update to being the daily half hour version of it. Which in one sense is good. However, it is possible to on occasion become nostalgic for the days when it was more of an underground thing. Still it's better to see it appreciated instead of un-appreciated and cancelled. As for South Park, it's still funny. Maybe not as edgy or novel as it was a decade ago. But it's earned the right to be where it is now. As long as Trey Parker and Matt Stone keep the humor coming, I'll be there.

I'm not a regular watcher of the "Law and Orders/CSIs". My dad and stepmom are both fans and I'll on occasion watch an episode if I end up in the same room where one is on and there's nothing else to watch or do. They aren't bad shows. But they've also gotten so over saturated that there's nothing really you can do with them outside of the limited corner they've painted themselves into.

I do NOT watch ANY of the reality TV shows or game shows (aside from syndicated episodes of Jeopardy). 99% of those shows are simply postmodern versions of what Chuck Barris "pioneered" back in the 1960s. "American Idol" is simply a meaner, 21st century "Gong Show". When "Survivor" first started, I sat down and actually tried to watch an episode. Got 5 minutes into it, realized I was about as entertained as I would've been if I'd decided to watch Rob Schneider get his eyebrows trimmed, turned it off and never watched another episode of it again.

Sitcoms? Well there's one sitcom on right now that offers real humor and is written with a certain level of intelligence. That show of course is "Two And A Half Men". Aside from that. most sitcoms nowadays are truly godawful. I think I was one of the few people in America that did NOT LOVE "Everybody Loves Raymond". "King Of Queens" offered some mild amusements here and there. But was burdened by pathetic characters. "Yes Dear" was even more pathetic.

Actually funny sitcoms with intelligent writing are a rarity as has been pointed out in numerous other outposts on the web. Of the ones that have actually been in first run (as opposed to simply syndicated re-runs) during my lifetime we've had "All In The Family" (as well as most of the Norman Lear catalog), "Newhart", "The Golden Girls", "The Cosby Show", "Cheers" and "Seinfeld". While I will not hesitate to admit to a guilty pleasure enjoyment of "Gilligan's Island", "The A-Team", "Roseanne", "Martin", "Laverne and Shirley" and "The Fresh Prince" I also will not commit blog malpractice by ranking those shows in with the ones I listed last sentence.

Now getting back to that question posed in the article about "The Simpsons".

There was a time (1992-1999) when "The Simpsons" was the best thing on TV. Those days have passed. In its first season, "The Simpsons" was a very good, yet not quite great show. Yet it got better as it moved away from simply being about Bart The Brat and focusing more on Homer and the other residents of Springfield. The golden age of Springfield lasted for the years I noted above. Around 2000 it started on a slide not into mediocrity. But into being just another TV show. It still does manage to produce some good episodes. But it's no longer the funniest, most intelligent comedy on TV.

Part of the problem is that nearly every animated prime-time show that's came along since "The Simpsons" rips them off in ways that are either obvious ("Family Guy", "South Park") or not so obvious ("King Of The Hill"). The problem though is that so many of those shows are taking what "The Simpsons" did to new levels and to an extent, doing it better.

The other part of the problem is that longevity can be a double edged sword in the world of TV. Think of the "intelligently funny" sitcoms I referred to a few paragraphs earlier. A few of them ("Cosby" and "Seinfeld") had the smarts to know when they were running out of gas and yanked the plug at the right time. "All In The Family" may easily have been the edgiest sitcom ever (probably the only one to place ahead of "The Simpsons"). But it wore out its welcome once the Jeffersons and Stivics split and the show proceeded to mutate into the lesser "Archie Bunker's Place" (although there were still a few good moments here and there, most notably the ones involving the loss of Edith).

So is it time for "The Simpsons" to go to that TV graveyard in the sky? Half and half. Part of me thinks it might be safer to pull the plug before the show does devolve into being a mediocre one. Yet, the other side of me remembers that what made the show great during its glory years was its willingness to take risks. So my overall advice would be to keep going for now. Yet, I would strongly recommend that Matt Groening and Co begin considering exit strategies now before the show ends up with ridiculous plots like Bart becoming a card carrying member of Future Educators of America.

One final note: I enjoyed "The Simpsons Movie" overall, yet it still felt like something was missing. Almost like Groening and Co had an opportunity to break out beyond the constraints of TV yet they chose not to take it. Had they pushed the limit the way Parker and Stone did with the "South Park" movie, they might have created a movie that was truly great as opposed to merely very good.

(A friend forwarded me the following.)

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by A WHITE woman who requested a response from Coloured men. I'm so glad She got what she asked for (and more)!!!

She wrote:

Dear Jamie

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Coloured male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Coloured male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Coloured female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Coloured women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly Approached by Coloured men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If coloured women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Coloured men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is Why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us, White women, Because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us.And we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Coloured men,Let me know. Thanks-Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in S A!!!!

RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Coloured man. I Graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia With a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at A major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I Consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Coloured men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Coloured men date white women Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Coloured men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Coloured girls in my neighborhood were raised in strict homes. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our mpatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Coloured men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Coloured women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Coloured men look for a more docile woman. Someone We can control. I have talked to numerous Coloured men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Coloured men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black/Coloured women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desireColoured women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't Want a "Disgusted White girl" to be misinformed, Stop thinking that Because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Indian Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the Coloured woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Coloured woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Coloured women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Coloured woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Coloured women were born with two strikes against them: beingColoured and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the Coloured women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Coloured Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about a Coloured women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Coloured women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy And envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have What the Coloured woman has... BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can Walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Coloured Royalty

My Response To Both Of Them

Dear Disgusted White Girl and Coloured Royalty

I am currently 31 years old. I happen to be white. Over the 31 years of my life, I have had many friends, both black and white. I do not look at issues of race when it comes to friendship. Why should that matter one iota? I find myself reminded of Dr. King's quote about "content of character, not color of skin".

Recently I had a brief "sort of" love affair with a black woman. It didn't work out as a romance although our friendship lives on. I fell in love with her because she's a very sweet, very caring woman. I love her and she loves me as a friend and that's a good foundation for genuine love. In fact, I strongly suspect that so many bursts of romantic love fall apart because there's no love as friends between them.

I felt love for this woman because she was so sweet and so caring. I loved her because of her playfully naughty yet unmalicious side. I loved her because she's a girl I can talk with and share some good laughs with.

We'd been through quite a bit together and race didn't matter at all. Imagine race mattering to two soldiers of different races who saved each other's lives.

During this brief "romance", most people I know (of both races) were supportive. However, I had a few hecklers on both sides. On one hand, there were a couple rednecky types who I don't really need to elaborate on further. And there were a few people from the other side who said "Oh Jeff. You got a serious case of jungle fever" (dammit Spike Lee. I love your movies. But why did you have to introduce THAT term into the vernacular). Why can't love be colorblind? Why, if I meet a black woman and I like her and she reciprocates the feelings and we decide to go out and after a few years, we may even contemplate the idea of (GASP) marriage, should it be a damn issue?

While both of you presented your arguments well, there was a little too much GENERALIZING in your letters. Not all white woman fall into the cliched "Sit down and remain in the home" philosophy as neither do all black women fall into the virtuous category. I've loved the black women I've loved in my life for the reasons I mentioned above. I've loved some white women for the same reasons.

As far as examples both in and out of the spotlight, over the past few years I've witnessed MANY mixed race couples in real life (as opposed to movies and TV shows). Couples where the racial difference fell on each side. Maybe we can soon get to the point where we can stop looking at it in terms of black and white. Maybe we're nearer to the point where we can proceed from the perspective that what we are are PEOPLE and let's proceed from there. I surely hope so.

Cordially
Jeff Wilder

Labels: dating, interracial relationships., Love

Meaning of Life

In the January 2009 issue of Esquire, there is a section where a cross-section of Americans are interviewed and asked to impart various bits of wisdom from life. The people interviewed ranged from Clint Eastwood to Bill Richardson to composer/pianist Phillip Glass.

A while back I was composing a list of life lessons to help celebrate a friends fortieth birthday. That list previously appeared in this space. After reading the issue of Esquire, I went back and re-read my list and then thought of some new ones I would add.

So without further ado.

The act of writing for the screen and writing for the page is so completely different. In essence, writing a screenplay is like composing a piece of music. You have to make sure it flows. In a way, making a film is like building a house. The house has to have a foundation. But it’s what you do when you move in and customize the house that makes it desirable to live in. With a film, you have to have a solid script. But don’t just photograph the script or you just end up with a photographed play.

Everyone has rhythm regardless of whether or not they can dance. I can dance and I try to bring a certain level of rhythm to everything I do. I don’t know whether or not Martin Scorsese can dance. But every single one of his films has a sense of rhythm. So try to bring a sense of rhythm to everything you do. To me that makes a lot more sense than “whistle while you work”.

You can trace most everything good from a cultural stand point of today back to the blues. Everything from rock and roll to hip-hop to great cinema to wonderful literature.

There is a difference between culture and pop ephemera.

There are more reference points between Punk, hip-hop and old time country than most people realize. Punk grew out of young frustration with corporate America/Britain and a shitty economy. Early country drew from many of the same points as did the blues. Hip-hop and punk share many of the same frustrations. Johnny Cash was in essence one of the first rappers in terms of lyrical content.

If I had known when I graduated from high school that I wanted to be a filmmaker I would have headed directly for film school, even though my parents would NOT have been thrilled with the idea at all.

If Ray Charles came along today, no record label would sign him.

“Time of Your Life” is a good song. But it’s sort of an anomaly in the Green Day canon. In essence, it’s the Green Day song for people who don’t like Green Day.

Uwe Boll is the director for people who don’t get Michael Bay.

Proposition 8 is an example of taking power out of the hands of individuals and putting it in the hands of a group. Passing it is taking a dangerous step toward loss of individual and personal freedom. Of course, that’s the Libertarian in me.

That Kenny Rogers lyric that advises card gamblers you have to “know when to hold em, know when to fold em” can easily be applied to relationships.

I always loved to learn. But I didn’t like school aside from a few classes. So I don’t subscribe to the “we don’t need no education” philosophy. We ALL need education. But school far too often gets in the way of actual education. You learn a lot more from life experience.

Technically I would be considered a part of Gen Y as I was born right in the middle of it. But in reality, I see myself as more of a late arriving Gen Xer. Or better yet, as not belonging to any pre-established group at all. I tend to look at people as individuals, not as members of groups. Schools far too often try to put people in groups.

It is possible to love someone as a friend and not want to lose them as a friend and still love them romantically and long for them on that level.

Sarah Palin Speaks

“Good evening. Friends, Romans, countrymen…oh wait!

Let’s try that again. Is this thing on?

Good evening. I’m happy to be here and so grateful that Sen. McCain chose me. Me, of all people. Look at what’s happened to me. I can’t believe it myself…

Now I’ve had to deal with some hard questions from the liberal media. Questions on whether or not I’m fit to lead. I’ve even had some people diss me on the internet (didn’t their mamas raise them better than that), comparing me to Dan Quayle! What’s wrong with those people? I can spell Potato. P-O-T-A-T-O. Or is it Potahto, like that song goes? Who cares? I just know there’s no E in it. At least he didn’t misspell semen as seamen!

Now one of those hard questions the liberal media keep asking me is if I know enough about foreign policy. Specifically do I know enough to deal with foreign policy issues should McCain kick or drop-kick the bucket and I end up as President Palin. Sheesh! Why did they never ask that question of George W Bush? Because they saw how close Texas is to Mexico! They also didn’t ask it of Obama or Hillary because New York and Arkansas have no foreign territories near them. Aside from Georgia of course. It is near Arkansas isn’t it? Then we should’ve sent troops in there when Russia invaded. But how did Russia get troops to Georgia I wonder. I know. They snuck them in through Alaska when I was still busy celebrating my selection as candidate! So I’ll need to get back to Alaska once the election is over and if we lose so I can tighten up the border security. But at least I know how to tighten up state border security. That’s more than Hillary knew. That’s why she lost. So please stop comparing me to Hillary! Her defense policy would involve using a pea shooter on the Russians. Me, I’d use a super soaker.

That brings me to another irritant. The tendency of people to say Sen. McCain picked me to draw in the Hillary voters. Why would he do that? To paraphrase the late Lloyd Bentsen; I’m no Hillary Clinton. Nor would I want to be. I’d rather be Imelda Marcos. She has all the good shoes. Look at fast I lose heels. Imelda never had that problem I bet!

When I first took the office of Governor of Alaska I told my constituents “Ask not what you can do for the caribou. Ask what the caribou can do for you”. They took my advice. Today, over 30% of the homes in Alaska have caribou carpeting. Many people have cut back on fattening fast food hamburgers. Hold the pickles; hold the lettuce, caribou meat does not upset us. No, it’s a tasty treat.

Now-oh wait what is that. Oh it’s John signaling me that my time is almost up. So I will close by saying let’s focus on building that bridge to the future. Only this time, let’s make it a suspension bridge. That won’t be as likely to collapse. So thank you, good night, God bless America and God bless Alaska with its close proximity to Russia!”

What Obama needs to say

“My fellow Americans.

I stand here in front of everyone. To some people I’m a hero. I’m the leader who came out of nowhere to lead the overthrow of an establishment that many see as incompetent at best or corrupt at worst. To some I’m the enemy, out to overthrow a system that they believe works. And to a few, specifically those who believe every commonly known yet commonly false rumor that crosses the Internet, I’m a Muslim and by association a terrorist or terrorist supporter.

Well I’m here to say that all of that doesn’t matter anymore.

It’s no longer about those old arcane notions of viewing each other. It’s no longer about Liberal or Conservative, Republican or Democrat. It’s about those who actually want to move forward, those who desire real progress and those who want to keep the status quo.

Remember after Hurricane Katrina when Kanye West said ‘George Bush doesn’t care about black people’. He was right. However, his observation was way too limited. Bush does not care about black people. However he also does not care about Hispanic, Asian or non-rich white people either.

Apathy is out there. And right now, that is what is doing us real harm.

When Ronald Reagan ran for president in 1980, he asked a very pertinent question of voters. The question was: ‘Are you better off now than you were four years ago?’

Now I’m here to ask the same question, only with a slight numerical change. My fellow Americans: Are we better off now than we were in September 2000?

How many people believe we are? A show of hands please.

That’s right. We most certainly are nowhere near better off than we were 8 years ago. We’ve been under an administration that had 8 years to actually get in there and get things done. We’ve had an administration that had many opportunities to improve things. And look where that has got us. As per the title of that Neil Young album, Everybody knows this is nowhere.

We need to move. We’ve been at nowhere too long.

Now my opponent John McCain will likely accuse me of flip-flopping at some point in the coming weeks. Allow me to laugh out loud while I ponder that for a minute or two.

Recall that Senator McCain previously made a run at the White House in 2000. When he ran, he ran as a moderate. One who mixed the right elements of so-called conservatism and liberalism. What did that get him? A crushing defeat by George W Bush in the primary.

So when McCain decided to run in 2008, what did he do? Reached right out to the so-called Moral Majority as exemplified by the likes of Pat Robertson and the late Jerry Falwell. I say so-called because they are neither moral nor are they a majority.

But what was his position on the so-called moral majority in 2000. Let’s go to the videotape:

“I am a pro-life, pro-family, fiscal conservative, and advocate of a strong defense. And yet, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and a few Washington leaders of the pro-life movement call me an unacceptable presidential candidate. They distort my pro-life positions and smear the reputations of my supporters.

Why? Because I don't pander to them, because I don't ascribe to their failed philosophy that money is our message.”

Those are the words of John McCain from a February 28 2000 speech in Virginia Beach. Think of that Mr. McCain, before you decide to accuse ME of flip-flopping.

McCain ran against Bush as an alternative to him. Now he wants to be Bush 2.0?

We do not need Bush 2.0. We need to reformat the whole system and start over fresh.

That folks is what we need. Real change. I will not actually promise anything because I cannot guarantee anything. Promising anything during a presidential run is like trying to run for class president in Middle School and promising to get the horrible food out of the cafeteria if you are elected. But this is what I would like to do once I get in there.

(Lists plans)

That’s the type of change I would like to see happen. So if you vote for me and work with me, maybe we can see change of that type happen. But I need your support.

Thank you”

One of the most realistic scenes from a movie ever...

Recently I was watching that classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Is it just me or does the following scene remind you of the many confrontations we have with irate customers?


(The dialogue is quoted verbatim. The other comments I added)

Brad Hamilton: May I help you?

Angry Customer: Uh, yes. This is not the best breakfast I ever ate, and I'd like my money back.

(Brad sees that the customer has already ate more than half of his supposedly terrible breakfast. Just like a customer who claims never to have done anything that would get them barred from doing what they feel they have to do, yet we see numerous examples on their account.)

Brad: Uh, okay, I believe you have to fill out a form for that.

Angry Customer: (Acting like many customers who do not understand we have procedures to follow) Uh, no, I'd like my money back now.

Brad: I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. You see, I have to fill out a form, and, well, you ate most of it already, so...

Angry Customer: (Acting like many customers who see consumerism as a form of breathing air) See that sign? It says, '100% guaranteed.' You know what the meaning of 'guaranteed' is? Do they teach you that here?

Brad: Sir, if you'd just wait a minute.

Angry Customer: (Like a customer at supervisor call level) I am so tired of dealing with incompetence. It says, '100% guaranteed,' you moron.

Brad: Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kick 100% of your ass!


Of course, if you saw the movie you know that Brad promptly was axed for blowing his stack at the customer. As would be the case if anyone where I work actually said that to a customer no matter how deserving they may be of it.

Think Tank

It is possible for one to become so set in their ways that we simply cannot accept that others may see things differently.

If you're over the age of 40 and wear a baseball cap, please wear it correctly!