Sunday, July 02, 2006
E-mail forwards are a common thing on the Internet. It's a good bet that at least once a week, you get a forward. Many of the forwards are humorous while some contain inspirational messages.
About 5 years ago, a friend of mine forwarded a humorous piece called The Class Of 2004 to me. It was supposedly a study conducted by colleges on the incoming freshmen to get an idea of their mindset. The study itself seemed kinda phony. But it was interesting and funny. The study itself stated that many of the people starting college around this time were born in the early 1980s and thus don't remember much from that decade. I started thinking about that and then considered how people born in the 1990s might remember that decade. So I decided to write a follow-up. Below is the essay that I forwarded to my friends on that mailing list.
Most of the people who enter college in that year will have been born in 1992 and will thus have no recollection of life in the 1990s.
They will have no idea what the Macarena was, much less how to do the Macarena. So any attempts at doing it will fail miserably, more miserably than any attempts by Al Gore.
They will have missed out on most of the fads that were prevalent between 1990 and 1999. Sure The Macarena faded out after about a year. But the Train came along and took its place (although The Train sputtered out after the creators of the Conga threatened to sue for plagiarism).
To the class of 2014, Grunge will be as old as the British Invasion. Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden will be thought of as "Classic rock" alongside The Beatles, Rolling Stones and Who.
Rap will no longer be at the forefront of pop music. Instead "Raptry" a new style will have taken its place. Raptry is a style that combines Rap and country, much like the Rap-Metal movement of the late 1990s that spawned the likes of Korn and Limp Bizkit. So listen as MC Pickup Truck Drivin' Hick raps over a down home beat about how "Ma babe she left me/She took my truck/She took my dog/I've had such bad luck". Of course many conservatives will be unhappy with Raptry and try to have it outlawed
The kids starting college in 2014 will have never seen Seinfeld. They will have no idea what "Yada Yada Yada", "Don't Have A Cow Man" and "Is That Your Final Answer?" are from. To them "Ren And Stimpy" will be in the same league as "Scooby Doo". Funny but tame compared to the likes of other 90s staples such as "South Park" and "Beavis And Butthead".
The people who grew up in the 1990s remember when Saturday Night Live was actually funny. The kids starting college in 2014 will look at you in disbelief if you reminisce over that time and say, "Saturday Night Live was never funny. It was always lame!" They will point to Adam Sandler as an example of this, having never seen Wayne's World or Austin Powers. If you say Mike Myers to them they will say "Oh that guy from that old old horror movie Halloween!"
Those of us who grew up in the 1990s witnessed the death of the teen horror flick as a viable genre. To the class of 2014, they will be thought of as kitschy masterpieces. Count in that category the Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer movies as well as certain misfires like Urban Legends and The Faculty. Those will replace 80s kitsch horror films like Prom Night and The Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13th movies.
The class of 2014 will have never seen Titanic. They will have no idea who Celine Dion is (That's not necessarily a bad thing) and will have no idea why Titanic is tied with the Bodyguard as "Movie With The Theme Song That We Hope We Never Hear Again". To them Titanic will be thought of as "Oh that movie with the ship and the Iceberg". Whitney Houston and Celine Dion will be probably be, if not completely forgotten, lumped in with the one hit wonders of the 1990s. The Movie Theme Queens will be listed (Inaccurately although they belong with many of the bands on this list in the bad category) alongside the likes of Chumbawamba ("I get knocked down But I get up again), Smash Mouth, 4 Non Blondes, Right Said Fred, Meredith Brooks, Linear, Take That, Blind Melon and a whole host of others that had one big hit between 1990 and 1999 and then faded away.
They will view Clinton's sex scandal as "oh, just one of those things that happens" much like Kennedy's affair with Marilyn Monroe. They will think Monica Lewinsky and Janet Reno are some characters from Survivor 25. If you mention a hanging chad around them they will ask, "what did Chad do?” Elian Gonzalez, Castro and anything else Cuban to them will be irrelevant. In fact the only Cuban thing even remotely relevant to them will be the cigar.
The Compact Disc will be in the same league then as the cassette is now. The cassette tape itself will be a niche item, collectable. A cassette of "John Denver's Greatest Hits" will fetch $5000 on e-Bay. MP3's will be the main way of hearing music since everyone will have a computer. There will be computers that fit in the pocket. Everyone will be hooked up to the Internet in one way or another and that will be quite a feat considering that the year they were born AOL was a closed in proprietary BBS that specialized in teen chat.
Nobody will remember what Vinyl was. Mentioning 8 Tracks will get you a blank stare.
The likes of Reagan, Clinton and the original Bush will be to them what Eisenhower, Nixon and
Kennedy are to the teens of today. The likes of Washington and Jefferson will be thought of as "the neighbors of George and Weezie".
This is starting to make me feel very old. But come 2024 I'll probably be writing "The Class of 2044" and feeling ready for the retirement home.
About 5 years ago, a friend of mine forwarded a humorous piece called The Class Of 2004 to me. It was supposedly a study conducted by colleges on the incoming freshmen to get an idea of their mindset. The study itself seemed kinda phony. But it was interesting and funny. The study itself stated that many of the people starting college around this time were born in the early 1980s and thus don't remember much from that decade. I started thinking about that and then considered how people born in the 1990s might remember that decade. So I decided to write a follow-up. Below is the essay that I forwarded to my friends on that mailing list.
The Class Of 2014
Most of the people who enter college in that year will have been born in 1992 and will thus have no recollection of life in the 1990s.
They will have no idea what the Macarena was, much less how to do the Macarena. So any attempts at doing it will fail miserably, more miserably than any attempts by Al Gore.
They will have missed out on most of the fads that were prevalent between 1990 and 1999. Sure The Macarena faded out after about a year. But the Train came along and took its place (although The Train sputtered out after the creators of the Conga threatened to sue for plagiarism).
To the class of 2014, Grunge will be as old as the British Invasion. Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden will be thought of as "Classic rock" alongside The Beatles, Rolling Stones and Who.
Rap will no longer be at the forefront of pop music. Instead "Raptry" a new style will have taken its place. Raptry is a style that combines Rap and country, much like the Rap-Metal movement of the late 1990s that spawned the likes of Korn and Limp Bizkit. So listen as MC Pickup Truck Drivin' Hick raps over a down home beat about how "Ma babe she left me/She took my truck/She took my dog/I've had such bad luck". Of course many conservatives will be unhappy with Raptry and try to have it outlawed
The kids starting college in 2014 will have never seen Seinfeld. They will have no idea what "Yada Yada Yada", "Don't Have A Cow Man" and "Is That Your Final Answer?" are from. To them "Ren And Stimpy" will be in the same league as "Scooby Doo". Funny but tame compared to the likes of other 90s staples such as "South Park" and "Beavis And Butthead".
The people who grew up in the 1990s remember when Saturday Night Live was actually funny. The kids starting college in 2014 will look at you in disbelief if you reminisce over that time and say, "Saturday Night Live was never funny. It was always lame!" They will point to Adam Sandler as an example of this, having never seen Wayne's World or Austin Powers. If you say Mike Myers to them they will say "Oh that guy from that old old horror movie Halloween!"
Those of us who grew up in the 1990s witnessed the death of the teen horror flick as a viable genre. To the class of 2014, they will be thought of as kitschy masterpieces. Count in that category the Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer movies as well as certain misfires like Urban Legends and The Faculty. Those will replace 80s kitsch horror films like Prom Night and The Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13th movies.
The class of 2014 will have never seen Titanic. They will have no idea who Celine Dion is (That's not necessarily a bad thing) and will have no idea why Titanic is tied with the Bodyguard as "Movie With The Theme Song That We Hope We Never Hear Again". To them Titanic will be thought of as "Oh that movie with the ship and the Iceberg". Whitney Houston and Celine Dion will be probably be, if not completely forgotten, lumped in with the one hit wonders of the 1990s. The Movie Theme Queens will be listed (Inaccurately although they belong with many of the bands on this list in the bad category) alongside the likes of Chumbawamba ("I get knocked down But I get up again), Smash Mouth, 4 Non Blondes, Right Said Fred, Meredith Brooks, Linear, Take That, Blind Melon and a whole host of others that had one big hit between 1990 and 1999 and then faded away.
They will view Clinton's sex scandal as "oh, just one of those things that happens" much like Kennedy's affair with Marilyn Monroe. They will think Monica Lewinsky and Janet Reno are some characters from Survivor 25. If you mention a hanging chad around them they will ask, "what did Chad do?” Elian Gonzalez, Castro and anything else Cuban to them will be irrelevant. In fact the only Cuban thing even remotely relevant to them will be the cigar.
The Compact Disc will be in the same league then as the cassette is now. The cassette tape itself will be a niche item, collectable. A cassette of "John Denver's Greatest Hits" will fetch $5000 on e-Bay. MP3's will be the main way of hearing music since everyone will have a computer. There will be computers that fit in the pocket. Everyone will be hooked up to the Internet in one way or another and that will be quite a feat considering that the year they were born AOL was a closed in proprietary BBS that specialized in teen chat.
Nobody will remember what Vinyl was. Mentioning 8 Tracks will get you a blank stare.
The likes of Reagan, Clinton and the original Bush will be to them what Eisenhower, Nixon and
Kennedy are to the teens of today. The likes of Washington and Jefferson will be thought of as "the neighbors of George and Weezie".
This is starting to make me feel very old. But come 2024 I'll probably be writing "The Class of 2044" and feeling ready for the retirement home.
