Sunday, September 06, 2009
(A friend forwarded me the following.)
It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by A WHITE woman who requested a response from Coloured men. I'm so glad She got what she asked for (and more)!!!
She wrote:
Dear Jamie
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Coloured male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Coloured male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Coloured female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Coloured women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly Approached by Coloured men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If coloured women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Coloured men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is Why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us, White women, Because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us.And we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Coloured men,Let me know. Thanks-Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in S A!!!!
RESPONSE
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Coloured man. I Graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia With a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at A major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I Consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Coloured men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Coloured men date white women Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Coloured men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Coloured girls in my neighborhood were raised in strict homes. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our mpatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Coloured men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Coloured women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Coloured men look for a more docile woman. Someone We can control. I have talked to numerous Coloured men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Coloured men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black/Coloured women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desireColoured women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't Want a "Disgusted White girl" to be misinformed, Stop thinking that Because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Indian Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the Coloured woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Coloured woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Coloured women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Coloured woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Coloured women were born with two strikes against them: beingColoured and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the Coloured women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Coloured Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about a Coloured women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Coloured women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy And envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have What the Coloured woman has... BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can Walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Coloured Royalty
My Response To Both Of Them
Dear Disgusted White Girl and Coloured Royalty
I am currently 31 years old. I happen to be white. Over the 31 years of my life, I have had many friends, both black and white. I do not look at issues of race when it comes to friendship. Why should that matter one iota? I find myself reminded of Dr. King's quote about "content of character, not color of skin".
Recently I had a brief "sort of" love affair with a black woman. It didn't work out as a romance although our friendship lives on. I fell in love with her because she's a very sweet, very caring woman. I love her and she loves me as a friend and that's a good foundation for genuine love. In fact, I strongly suspect that so many bursts of romantic love fall apart because there's no love as friends between them.
I felt love for this woman because she was so sweet and so caring. I loved her because of her playfully naughty yet unmalicious side. I loved her because she's a girl I can talk with and share some good laughs with.
We'd been through quite a bit together and race didn't matter at all. Imagine race mattering to two soldiers of different races who saved each other's lives.
During this brief "romance", most people I know (of both races) were supportive. However, I had a few hecklers on both sides. On one hand, there were a couple rednecky types who I don't really need to elaborate on further. And there were a few people from the other side who said "Oh Jeff. You got a serious case of jungle fever" (dammit Spike Lee. I love your movies. But why did you have to introduce THAT term into the vernacular). Why can't love be colorblind? Why, if I meet a black woman and I like her and she reciprocates the feelings and we decide to go out and after a few years, we may even contemplate the idea of (GASP) marriage, should it be a damn issue?
While both of you presented your arguments well, there was a little too much GENERALIZING in your letters. Not all white woman fall into the cliched "Sit down and remain in the home" philosophy as neither do all black women fall into the virtuous category. I've loved the black women I've loved in my life for the reasons I mentioned above. I've loved some white women for the same reasons.
As far as examples both in and out of the spotlight, over the past few years I've witnessed MANY mixed race couples in real life (as opposed to movies and TV shows). Couples where the racial difference fell on each side. Maybe we can soon get to the point where we can stop looking at it in terms of black and white. Maybe we're nearer to the point where we can proceed from the perspective that what we are are PEOPLE and let's proceed from there. I surely hope so.
Cordially
Jeff Wilder
It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by A WHITE woman who requested a response from Coloured men. I'm so glad She got what she asked for (and more)!!!
She wrote:
Dear Jamie
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Coloured male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Coloured male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Coloured female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Coloured women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly Approached by Coloured men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If coloured women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Coloured men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is Why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us, White women, Because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us.And we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Coloured men,Let me know. Thanks-Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in S A!!!!
RESPONSE
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Coloured man. I Graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia With a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at A major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I Consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Coloured men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Coloured men date white women Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Coloured men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Coloured girls in my neighborhood were raised in strict homes. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our mpatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Coloured men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Coloured women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Coloured men look for a more docile woman. Someone We can control. I have talked to numerous Coloured men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Coloured men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black/Coloured women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desireColoured women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't Want a "Disgusted White girl" to be misinformed, Stop thinking that Because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Indian Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the Coloured woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Coloured woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Coloured women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Coloured woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Coloured women were born with two strikes against them: beingColoured and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the Coloured women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Coloured Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about a Coloured women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Coloured women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy And envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have What the Coloured woman has... BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can Walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Coloured Royalty
My Response To Both Of Them
Dear Disgusted White Girl and Coloured Royalty
I am currently 31 years old. I happen to be white. Over the 31 years of my life, I have had many friends, both black and white. I do not look at issues of race when it comes to friendship. Why should that matter one iota? I find myself reminded of Dr. King's quote about "content of character, not color of skin".
Recently I had a brief "sort of" love affair with a black woman. It didn't work out as a romance although our friendship lives on. I fell in love with her because she's a very sweet, very caring woman. I love her and she loves me as a friend and that's a good foundation for genuine love. In fact, I strongly suspect that so many bursts of romantic love fall apart because there's no love as friends between them.
I felt love for this woman because she was so sweet and so caring. I loved her because of her playfully naughty yet unmalicious side. I loved her because she's a girl I can talk with and share some good laughs with.
We'd been through quite a bit together and race didn't matter at all. Imagine race mattering to two soldiers of different races who saved each other's lives.
During this brief "romance", most people I know (of both races) were supportive. However, I had a few hecklers on both sides. On one hand, there were a couple rednecky types who I don't really need to elaborate on further. And there were a few people from the other side who said "Oh Jeff. You got a serious case of jungle fever" (dammit Spike Lee. I love your movies. But why did you have to introduce THAT term into the vernacular). Why can't love be colorblind? Why, if I meet a black woman and I like her and she reciprocates the feelings and we decide to go out and after a few years, we may even contemplate the idea of (GASP) marriage, should it be a damn issue?
While both of you presented your arguments well, there was a little too much GENERALIZING in your letters. Not all white woman fall into the cliched "Sit down and remain in the home" philosophy as neither do all black women fall into the virtuous category. I've loved the black women I've loved in my life for the reasons I mentioned above. I've loved some white women for the same reasons.
As far as examples both in and out of the spotlight, over the past few years I've witnessed MANY mixed race couples in real life (as opposed to movies and TV shows). Couples where the racial difference fell on each side. Maybe we can soon get to the point where we can stop looking at it in terms of black and white. Maybe we're nearer to the point where we can proceed from the perspective that what we are are PEOPLE and let's proceed from there. I surely hope so.
Cordially
Jeff Wilder
Labels: dating, interracial relationships., Love
