Friday, January 08, 2010
Telemarketers.
As I continue on my current job search I find myself reflecting on when I once worked as a telemarketer. Yes, I was one of those assholes pestering you on the phone. So on behalf of everyone else who worked with me, I apologize!
At the telemarketing company they had a rule that all employees had to have their shirts tucked in. Had to have our shirts tucked in to call people up and hassle them over the telephone???? I mean, telemarketing is only a small step above working at McDonald’s or Checkers and there you aren’t harassing people in their own homes.
“Hello. This is Jeff calling from McDonald’s. Would you like to try the new quarter pounder?”“Shut up asshole and go away! (SLAM!)”
So they tried to get us to keep our shirts tucked in. Of course, very few of us had our shirts actually tucked in. Especially not Ishmael my co-worker. So Ahab, the supervisor, goes around and starts ordering us to tuck in our shirts. But Ahab had no problem with people showing up for work dressed like Dennis Rodman.
Dressed like Dennis Rodman! You couldn’t get away with dressing like Dennis Rodman at McDonald’s. You’d scare the kids on the playground! The only place you could get away with showing up for work dressed like Dennis Rodman is the school cafeteria. That and being a telemarketer!
Need to work yet don’t want to actually do any work? Be a telemarketer! Have no experience? No problem! Telemarketing companies hire EVERYONE. Crackhead? No problem! Drug dealer? No problem! They won’t hire just anybody at McDonald’s or Burger King. But they will hire anyone to be a telemarketer. They’d hire Saddam Hussein to be a telemarketer. If telemarketer’s existed in Genghis Khan’s time, they’d hire him.
Genghis Khan: This is Genghis calling on behalf of XXXX products. We value your business and would like you to have…Customer: No thanks…HEY!! What are you doing here?? PUT THAT SWORD DOWN!!!! Okay I’ll buy it!
So if you desperately need a job and have a choice between being a telemarketer and selling crack, sell the crack. At least there you're providing a service that some people actually do want.
As I continue on my current job search I find myself reflecting on when I once worked as a telemarketer. Yes, I was one of those assholes pestering you on the phone. So on behalf of everyone else who worked with me, I apologize!
At the telemarketing company they had a rule that all employees had to have their shirts tucked in. Had to have our shirts tucked in to call people up and hassle them over the telephone???? I mean, telemarketing is only a small step above working at McDonald’s or Checkers and there you aren’t harassing people in their own homes.
“Hello. This is Jeff calling from McDonald’s. Would you like to try the new quarter pounder?”“Shut up asshole and go away! (SLAM!)”
So they tried to get us to keep our shirts tucked in. Of course, very few of us had our shirts actually tucked in. Especially not Ishmael my co-worker. So Ahab, the supervisor, goes around and starts ordering us to tuck in our shirts. But Ahab had no problem with people showing up for work dressed like Dennis Rodman.
Dressed like Dennis Rodman! You couldn’t get away with dressing like Dennis Rodman at McDonald’s. You’d scare the kids on the playground! The only place you could get away with showing up for work dressed like Dennis Rodman is the school cafeteria. That and being a telemarketer!
Need to work yet don’t want to actually do any work? Be a telemarketer! Have no experience? No problem! Telemarketing companies hire EVERYONE. Crackhead? No problem! Drug dealer? No problem! They won’t hire just anybody at McDonald’s or Burger King. But they will hire anyone to be a telemarketer. They’d hire Saddam Hussein to be a telemarketer. If telemarketer’s existed in Genghis Khan’s time, they’d hire him.
Genghis Khan: This is Genghis calling on behalf of XXXX products. We value your business and would like you to have…Customer: No thanks…HEY!! What are you doing here?? PUT THAT SWORD DOWN!!!! Okay I’ll buy it!
So if you desperately need a job and have a choice between being a telemarketer and selling crack, sell the crack. At least there you're providing a service that some people actually do want.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Another year over, a new one just begun
So 2009 comes to an end and not a moment too soon. I can't really complain about it too much as it was a difficult year for me. But I know a few people for whom it was much harder so I musn't bitch about it. That's one of my main resolutions for this year: Not to get off on rants so easily. Another one is to take better care of myself. And my main goal for the year is to get a film made, even if it's just a 5-minute one.
Went to the lodge for a New Years eve party. The party was fun overall. The food was good and the people I was with were great people. The only drawback was the entertainment.
The person in charge of planning the entertainment hired 2 people to do it. The first was local pianist Tony Chance. He wasn't too bad even if he did remind me a little too much of Michael Buble. The problem was the guy who came after him. He was some geezer who specialized in playing (on a keyboard) primarily easy listening caca. Stuff like Barry Manilow and watered down versions of some rock and swing standards. His version of Johnny B Goode reminded me more of Paul Anka's cover more than Chuck Berry's classic original.
Some people looking at the composition of about 35% of the attendees at the party might say that playing music of that type was appropriate. But most of the people there were rock and roll fans. The oldest ones grew up with early rock (IE: The aforementioned Berry).
Last year there was a DJ who played a mix of music ranging from earlu rock to Frank Sinatra to swing to hip-hop to Michael Jackson. Good selections overall.
So this year (or more accurately last year) about halfway through the party, many of us in attendance were ready to hog-tie the geezer entertainer and send him back to the retirement home he came from.
Other than that the party was great.
Here's to a great 2010 for everyone.
So 2009 comes to an end and not a moment too soon. I can't really complain about it too much as it was a difficult year for me. But I know a few people for whom it was much harder so I musn't bitch about it. That's one of my main resolutions for this year: Not to get off on rants so easily. Another one is to take better care of myself. And my main goal for the year is to get a film made, even if it's just a 5-minute one.
Went to the lodge for a New Years eve party. The party was fun overall. The food was good and the people I was with were great people. The only drawback was the entertainment.
The person in charge of planning the entertainment hired 2 people to do it. The first was local pianist Tony Chance. He wasn't too bad even if he did remind me a little too much of Michael Buble. The problem was the guy who came after him. He was some geezer who specialized in playing (on a keyboard) primarily easy listening caca. Stuff like Barry Manilow and watered down versions of some rock and swing standards. His version of Johnny B Goode reminded me more of Paul Anka's cover more than Chuck Berry's classic original.
Some people looking at the composition of about 35% of the attendees at the party might say that playing music of that type was appropriate. But most of the people there were rock and roll fans. The oldest ones grew up with early rock (IE: The aforementioned Berry).
Last year there was a DJ who played a mix of music ranging from earlu rock to Frank Sinatra to swing to hip-hop to Michael Jackson. Good selections overall.
So this year (or more accurately last year) about halfway through the party, many of us in attendance were ready to hog-tie the geezer entertainer and send him back to the retirement home he came from.
Other than that the party was great.
Here's to a great 2010 for everyone.
